Allergy son.

I have started to describe some of the difficulties with my first son but truly, it became more and more complex as time went on. Not simpler by any means.
He was also allergic to disposable diapers. So I went to cloth. Great hey? Problem solved? No, of course not. One day he screamed and screamed in pain. I was with my older sister and we were both close to hysteria trying to help my precious baby. You won't imagine (I hope) what we finally discovered. A microscopic rash on his wee bottom. He was allergic to the soap that I washed his diapers with. Something "pure". Ha! We had a magnifying glass and could see the most fine rash ever. Ever. No more diapers for him. My baby was potty trained at 9 months. 9 months and completely potty trained. We were all so relieved for him.
However, I then began the search for clothing that was non-synthetic. Anywhere that synthetic material touched, a rash bloomed. A raw weeping rash. My poor wee fella. Honestly, what else could go wrong?
Apparently more. Shoot.
He is anaphylactic allergic to peanuts, nuts, seafood, sulpha and seeds.
Therein starts another painful journey which I will speak about in another post.
Actually, I am surprised by the overwhelming amount of anxiety and stress that I have remembering these times and stories. Wow. I have never recognized how difficult this time was for both my eldest and myself. We were so tied together due to his needs. But he grew up and has gone on to manage everything for himself and to succeed in life.

My intention with this blog.

I am hoping that this blog provides a forum of discussion. People should ask questions and then I or readers will offer our thoughts.
I wish that I had had such an option because I would have greatly appreciated some input. Honestly? Few to no persons had any experience with such an allergic boy.
Did I also mention that my sons have STRONG personalities? All of them have been overwhelmingly difficult to raise and continue to be. They challenge every single question, statement or observation. They are forever trying to dominate me in some way. Physically and verbally. Holy cow. It is exhausting! I have to dominate but not break. It is a fine line and totally embarrassing and humiliating at times...but there it is. My reality.
Oh yeah...they are also active. As in physically active. And super duper competitive. In anything, with anybody. Holy cow. Enough said!

A Humbling Journey

Imagine trying to deal with a little boy who has an unknown illness. It was difficult.
I had to educate myself on nutrition, chemicals in a household, cleaning, clothing....anything and everything.
I started by going to doctors. The GP and then specialists. Pediatric skin, allergy, and asthma specialists. That was an eye opener.
There was too little information 23 years ago and very little alternative to conventional medicine. We saw great doctors and they all tried to help but it was near impossible.
I started reading health food flyers and magazines. I spent a lot of time at health food stores and had to travel all over the city.
I nursed him forever..it felt like that anyways because he was allergic to milk and all formula. All.
He ate eggs. Many many eggs. His favourite food to this day.
I tried goat milk but that was not well appreciated. Finally, he started to drink rice milk and eat rice. Anything that was not organic was immediately refused.
Next, he ate broccoli. He loved it raw with rice.
He could eat beef, chicken and one type of sausage.
I slowly introduced other foods into his diet. I made mistakes but he eventually could eat a wee bit more. Yogurt, milk, cheese, wheat etc.
If I gave him a choice of 2 different apples. One conventional and the other organic, he would always reach for the organic. Every single time. Eventually, he couldn't even eat a raw apple. (still can't)
He would eat organic blueberries with gusto but around the age of 18, he became sensitive to them as well.
And this is just food.

First son with life threatening allergies.

My first step into motherhood was made in ignorant bliss. I really thought that my life would just continue on with this adoring little person at my side. I had lived for looking after myself and no one else. Oh the silly girl that I was.
Reality hit hard. My baby cried, fussed, ate, pooped, peed into my face and sometimes slept. I was completely and totally unprepared for being a mother. It was a shock to discover that the baby would not let me have a peaceful bath. I could no longer just soak and read a book.
And then... there were things to be done when the baby slept. Yikes what a shock. When I wasn't cooking, cleaning and doing laundry, I was nursing the baby.
I nursed my oldest boy until he was almost 3. Yes, three. Why?
Because he was allergic to everything.
Lets see if I can remember. Synthetic material, soap, fragrance, wheat, dairy, pork, sugar, dye, (especially orange), seafood, chemicals, mould, fresh fruit (except blueberries) , fresh vegetables (except broccoli), grass, trees, flowers etc. It was quite, quite incredible.
Can you imagine?
I began my journey on allergies when he was 8 months old or so.
How did I know that there was a problem? Glassy, unfocussed eyes after eating, throwing up, rashes developing all over his wee body and flushed skin. Oh, he also hit out at me quite viciously. Kicking me, pulling my hair and trying to bite me.
He attacked me in a health food store and the woman working there came running and asked me what he had just eaten. That was the beginning but it was not the end.

My story.

Hello.
My name is Alex and I am the mother of three boys and the step-mother to another one. Boys. I am surrounded. Me and males. Oh dear.
My story is different. I had one boy in my twenties, another in my thirties and my last one in my forties. My oldest is 22, second is 15 years old, my stepson is 13 and the baby is 4. Yup….lots of experience. Each one has come with different challenges but so much joy. All of them are a challenge. ALL. They drive me insane.
I raised my first two on my own with little to no help from their father. He was a drunk. There is no other way to put it. I loved him dearly but I certainly couldn't change him and neither could his gorgeous sons. So sad. It still infuriates me. He died of alcoholism at the grand age of 41. Leaving behind two young boys and a wife.
My last son was a total surprise and a gift to me and my boys. He is the glue and joy of all of our lives. I am married and with my husband in a very happy marriage raising all three of the boys together. My step-son lives with his mum so we have him very rarely.
It is all so complicated as families can be. However, even amongst the highs and lows, I am full of joy every single day because of them. I am ready to share all of my experience which I must tell you is extensive and continuing.
I am a teacher and have a B.A., B. Ed. and a M.A.. So I do have some credentials but seriously, they mean nothing at home.
Other parents are always asking for my advice. Ha ha ha. Parenting is not for the weak of heart. It is humiliating and embarrassing at the best of times.
Except for those parents who choose to pretend that their child is perfect. I don't know...maybe they are the smart ones?
Unfortunately, I can't pretend that my boys are perfect. Ok, they are. Perfectly horrible!